When I married Ellen on September 2nd, 2011 in New York City, I knew it was a momentous occasion AND I knew we still had much work to do. What makes a marriage? That is a question that so many are divided about. I can tell you from my experience there were two distinct purposes, and then occasions, which can help shed light on the differences between a commitment and a marriage. First, we married legally in NY and then we had a wedding in Texas. That is, a family/friends/spiritual/emotional ceremony and celebration in Texas, not recognized by Texas law. For heterosexual couples, those two events happen at the same time usually. They apply for a marriage license and create a ceremony where they sign that license on the same day, in the same pl...

When I first started doing gender work as a psychologist, which means raising awareness about the differences of gender and how those differences play out in social power, I was not listened to very much. After all, I was just another female talking about “gender.” For many reasons, as a whole, many men tune out when it comes to gender, believing that those are “women’s issues,” and they have no need to pay attention. Jackson Katz does a fabulous job of explaining this in this TED talk I strongly recommend, many men tune out when it comes to gender, believing that those are women’s issues, and they have no need to pay attention.

I especially have not been heard in some spaces as I am a Latina sexual minority female…more reasons to not attend i...

People from underrepresented or marginalized groups are often discussed from an oppression standpoint. That is, how much the group suffers and how much more difficult their lives are due to being different than the majority. I agree, of course; particularly as bullying is not just about gay teens or fat girls. There are many ways we all don’t fit nicely into the box created by decades of sameness and expectations. And there’s finally more attention to how being different leads to struggle due to social boxes people are trying to fit into. As an activist and diversity trainer, I teach about all of the injustices, systemic oppression, difficulties going against the majority. However, I want to share some of my experiences from a different part...

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